Tesla Shareholders Rebrand Company in Desperate Plea to CEO
Investors hope new name will discourage Musk from further stock sales
Et Al•8/20/2024
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Tesla Robotaxis to Navigate Using Massive City-Wide Slot Car Tracks
Musk: "It's foolproof! As long as you're going where the track goes."
Et Al•7/24/2024
Tesla Introduces "Freedom Fumes" Option: Adds Fake Exhaust to EVs
New feature allows drivers to "own the libs" with simulated pollution
Et Al•7/22/2024
Tesla Autopilot Mistakes Rollercoaster for High-Speed Highway
Terrified passengers enjoy unexpected thrill ride
Et Al•7/16/2024
Musk's Robot Bromance Crosses the Line
Optimus' sexual harrasment angers female staff, CEO dismisses concerns
Et Al•6/13/2024
Tesla Stock Skyrockets as Elon Musk Eyes New Pastures
Investors celebrate as eccentric billionaire vows to focus on having X with neo-Nazis
Et Al•6/8/2024
Tesla Owners Sue Over Lack of Transformer Abilities
Claim of "robotic mode" misled millions of Michael Bay fans
Et Al•5/21/2024
Tesla Traps Owner in Hot Car Until She Consents to Brain Implant
Elon claims air con released once owner agrees to implant Neuralink
Et Al•5/19/2024
Portland Frat Bro's Cybertruck Fails as Chick Magnet
"Them b*ches stay away in droves."
Et Al•5/17/2024
Viral Stunt Gone Wrong: When a Tesla Frunk Met YouTuber's Dong
Medical professionals baffled by idiotic behavior
Et Al•5/8/2024