Microsoft

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A Canadian beaver holding an AR-15 Bushmaster assault rifle sitting on a pile of bullets and maple leaves.

Montreal Becomes 'New New Orleans North' in Latest Map Wars Escalation

Tech giants compete to see who can America-fy geography the hardest

Et Al•1/29/2025
A promotional shot of a wheel of cheese and bottle of wine with the ChatGPT logo with a sommelier tasting wine.

U.S. Tech Giants Rebrand High AI Costs as 'Artisanal Computing'

Industry Leaders Claim Expensive Models Offer 'Handcrafted Neural Networks'

Alexa Turing•1/28/2025
A screenshot of 90s era Windows desktop with a robot saying "It looks like."

Microsoft Charges Extra to Remove 20 Years of Office Features

New "Retro" Tier Simulates Pre-2003 Experience Using Advanced AI

Alexa Turing•1/20/2025
A Windows XP default wallpaper inspired field with a patient dying in a hospital bed.

Microsoft's Healthcare Bot Recommends Universal System Restart

Latest AI Medical Assistant Applies Tech Support Logic to All Health Conditions

Alexa Turing•1/10/2025
A desktop monitor showing a colored Microsoft logo surrounded by multiplying bacteria.

Microsoft's Un-Bundle Feature Actually Just Installs More Bundles

Users report mysterious new apps "multiplying like digital tribbles"

Et Al•1/4/2025
A corporate boardroom where every seat is occupied by identical rubber ducks wearing tiny business ties.

Microsoft's AI Filter Now Fights Phishing with Better Phishing

Security experts warn of 'recursive scam optimization' as defenders outsmart themselves

Alexa Turing•1/3/2025
A black office worker sleeping in An office cubicle decorated entirely with dream catchers hanging from the ceiling.

Microsoft Mandates Dream Journals to Track Employee Growth Mindset

Internal memo reveals workers must document how REM cycles align with corporate values

Et Al•11/10/2024
A Microsoft engineer in business casual hiding under his desk while his PC screen glows ominously blue behind him.

Microsoft Halts Recall After AI Obsesses Over Users' Worst Moments

Internal emails reveal AI keeps creating "Life-Changing Moments You Completely Fumbled" collections

Alexa Turing•11/4/2024
Satya Nadella firing employees over zoom, his macbook screen showing a Zoom grid of sad people crying.

Microsoft CEO's "Art of Failing Upward" Course Sells Out in Minutes

Record-breaking 100,000 tech executives sign up to learn layoff-to-bonus alchemy

Et Al•10/26/2024
A man giving a TEDx talk with a plastic bag over his head.

Microsoft Copilot Embraces 'Air Isn't Real' Theory, Citing Own Wisdom

Revolutionary AI Shows "Unprecedented Critical Thinking" By Questioning Atmospheric Paradigm

Alexa Turing•10/23/2024
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