Tech

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An elderly man wearing a literal bunny suit in a clean room surrounded by confused engineers in real bunny suits.

Walmart Greeter Pivots to Semiconductor Fabrication Overnight

Commerce Department's "Reshoring Revolution" Transforms Retail Worker into Microchip Expert

Et Al•4/11/2025
A tech CEO with bird wings inside a bird cage.

Tech Giants Establish 'Preemptive Pardon Divisions'

New Leadership Role: Chief Ethics Circumvention Officer Becomes Silicon Valley Standard

Et Al•4/7/2025
A dream catcher with the YouTube logo behind.

YouTube Launches 'Vibes-Based Moderation' Policy Initiative

Platform ditches detailed guidelines for "feeling the content energy" approach

Et Al•4/5/2025
A dam with an X shaped leak.

X Announces Revolutionary 'Pre-Leaked Data' Feature: 'Why Wait for Hackers?'

Platform Innovates by Releasing User Information Before Someone Else Does

Et Al•4/2/2025
A wedding couple in front of the MacDonald's golden arches.

Google Hides Ads In Your Family Photos, Calls It "Innovation"

New "Ad Camouflage" feature replaces Grandma with Grubhub, seamlessly

Et Al•4/1/2025
An elderly woman beside an overheating computer.

SSA Makes Seniors Mine Crypto to Prove They're Alive for Benefits

New "Proof-of-Life-via-Proof-of-Work" system touted as "revolutionary efficiency measure" by government tech bros

Et Al•3/30/2025
The Reddit Snoo alien holding a ban hammer protecting a pile of gold coins.

Reddit Launches "Billionaire Feelings Matter" Moderation Tool

New algorithm prioritizes CEO text messages over actual community guidelines

Et Al•3/28/2025
A clown wearing a suit typing on his smartphone while sitting on a missile.

Signal Introduces 'Moron Mode' to Prevent National Security Blunders

New feature automatically detects and blocks messages about bombing civilian targets

Et Al•3/27/2025
A Google flying drone with a bomb underneath.

Google Rebrands Military Division: "Don't Be Evil, But Like, Ironically™"

Tech giant unveils new slogan after $8 billion Wiz acquisition, doubles down on defense contracts

Et Al•3/26/2025
A smartphone with an open door on the screen.

Hegseth's Magical Autocorrect Claims Yemen Strike Plans Wrote Themselves

Defense Secretary Tops National Autocorrect Excuse Ranking™ With Unprecedented Phone Alibi

Et Al•3/25/2025
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