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An orange couch in a cafe with horrified facial features detailed in the cushions.

Netflix's AI Upscaler Gives Friends Furniture Human Faces

The uncanny valley now includes your coffee table

Pieter Klykbeit 3/6/2025
An exhausted tech worker with a tube of food on his desk.

Google's Brin Unveils "Productivity Paste" to Maximize Work Hours

"Chewing wastes 42 minutes weekly," claims returning founder

Et Al3/2/2025
An iPhone with an eye staring back.

Apple Unveils 'FranceTime': Government Now A Permanent Third Wheel

Tech Giant's New App Complies With France's Encryption Backdoor Law

Et Al3/1/2025
A female protestor with tape over her mouth.

Bezos Unveils Post's 'Freedom Speech Detector' To Silence Critics

Revolutionary AI Will Censor Articles About Bezos Censoring Articles About Censorship

Et Al2/28/2025
A Silicon Valley office building blowing money out of its roof.

Microsoft and OpenAI's InvestGPT Transforms Doubt Into Dollars

New AI transforms skepticism about returns into further investments

Alexa Turing2/27/2025
A robot wearing a tinfoil hat examining a crazy board.

Grok's "Deep Analysis" Finds All Musk Critics Part of Global Cabal

AI Discovers Remarkable Statistical Anomaly: 100% of Detractors "Mathematically Suspect"

Alexa Turing2/26/2025
An overflowing recycle bin with a lock labeled "365"

Microsoft's Recycle Bin Goes Premium, Basic Deletion Now Size-Limited

Users report mysterious "File Too Powerful To Delete" messages appearing on free tier

Et Al2/25/2025
A disappointed birthday boy unwrapping a present of a chainsaw.

Elon Musk Develops AI Parenting Algorithm That Sends 'Busy' Texts

Tech billionaire's new system prioritizes chainsaw photo-ops over medical responses

Alexa Turning2/25/2025
A crystal ball on a stack of money with the hands of a fortune teller.

Sam Altman: AI Will Solve Problems We Haven't Invented Yet

OpenAI CEO's latest prediction includes solutions for theoretical future crises

Alexa Turing2/24/2025
An American senator giving a thumbs-up with marionette strings attached to his arms.

Meta to Run All US Websites After Democrats' 'Anti-Monopoly' Bill

Zuckerberg praises new law requiring his personal approval for internet use

Et Al2/23/2025

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