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A smartphone with prison bars emerging from the screen, entrapping graduation cap wearing people inside.

X's "Dissent Detector" Transforms Censorship Into Profit Center

Tech Giant Monetizes Repression After Turkey Success Story

Et Al•3/24/2025
A giant blue thumbs-up spewing surveillance drones over tiny tech workers with a sign that says "obey".

Facebook's "Career Afterlife Score" Tracks Ex-Employee Silence

Former workers' loyalty measured in post-Meta quietude points

Et Al•3/23/2025
A hot dog that resembles a finger in a bun.

Microsoft Introduces Nuclear-Powered Chatbot That Still Can't Tell If Image Contains Hot Dog

$80 Billion Investment Yields AI That Confuses Frankfurters With Fingers

Alexa Turing•3/21/2025
A flaming Tesla logo with a crown of thorns above a protest.

Musk: "Resistance Is Futile," Vows DOGE War on Fire Departments

Tech CEO's response to burning Teslas includes plans to "optimize" firefighting industry out of existence

Et Al•3/20/2025
A smart TV with a luminescent brain and dollar signs.

Roku's "Breaking Point" Study Measures Exact Moment Users Throw TVs Out Window

Company pioneers revolutionary "pre-content content" to maximize ad delivery before viewer revolt

Et Al•3/19/2025
A server farm in a melting glacier.

Study on Deadly Email Signatures Kills Six People With Traffic

Carbon-conscious researcher creates electricity-guzzling tools to tell you about electricity-guzzling emails

Et Al•3/18/2025
Luigi from Super Mario Bros dressed in a black hoodie holding a pistol on a Manhattan street.

Reddit's "ThoughtCrime AI" Can Ban You for Thinking About Luigi

New algorithm determines ban-worthiness from cursor movements, eyebrow thickness, and healthcare-adjacent neural patterns

Alexa Turing•3/17/2025
A Tesla with a forest camo paint job in a parking space with its owner hiding in shame.

Tesla Anonymous: Where Owners Hide Cars Like Shameful Secrets

Former EV status symbol now driven under cover of darkness

Et Al•3/16/2025
Uncle Sam with "I want your IP" underneath.

OpenAI Proposes "Creator Conscription Act" to Draft All Artists

"Patriotic duty" to surrender IP for AI training, says company bravely fighting copyright lawsuits

Alexa Turing•3/15/2025
A poke ball with a surveillance camera pointed at it with the Saudi flag in the background.

Saudi Prince: Catch Embassy-Exclusive Rare Pokémon Now

Royal WhereAbouts Initiative Promises Legendary Creatures Only Within Diplomatic Compounds

Pieter Klykbeit•3/14/2025
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