Nintendo's legal department has taken an unconventional approach to tracking down notorious game leaker EveryGameGuru, recruiting an elite team of Pokémon GO players as process servers.
"These people understand spawn patterns better than any private investigator," explained Rebecca Park, Nintendo's newly appointed Director of Alternative Legal Strategies. "They've been tracking our target's movements between his local Starbucks, LA Fitness, and his grandmother's house with disturbing precision."
The program has attracted veteran players like Tom Phillips, who's achieved "Mythic Rare" status after successfully serving papers to three defendants in one day. "We're trading intel on EveryGameGuru sightings like he's a shiny Mewtwo," Phillips explained. "Some servers have even offered to trade their entire rare Pokémon collection for a solid lead on his whereabouts."
The initiative has spawned an intense competitive hierarchy among servers. "We've got people organizing lunch break raid parties," Park noted. "Last Tuesday, eight servers coordinated a synchronized strike on five potential locations. They only found his empty energy drink cans, but the dedication was impressive."
The competitive atmosphere has led to a sophisticated ranking system based on successful serves, with servers demanding "Gym Leader-level" hazard pay for particularly challenging targets. "You want me to serve papers at a third-floor walkup? That's at least worth a Charizard-tier bonus," reported veteran server Lisa Martinez. "And don't get me started on the sprained ankles from parkour-style pursuit attempts."
At press time, EveryGameGuru remained unserved, though servers claim they've "narrowed down his spawn radius" and are confident they'll complete their "Pokédex of Justice" soon. Meanwhile, Nintendo's legal department is dealing with expense reports mysteriously filled with energy drinks and running shoes.
