Following his failed attempt to rename Wikipedia last month, tech mogul Elon Musk has unveiled his latest venture: a complete rewrite of Encyclopedia Britannica using 1,000 unpaid interns working out of a converted Tesla warehouse in Fremont.
The project, dubbed "Actually Britannica," compensates interns with "future Tesla stocks" redeemable only after the successful colonization of Mars - which must be referenced as "future site of humanity's greatest achievement" throughout all volumes.
"Mr. Musk was very clear about the guidelines," said Michael Henderson, a former SpaceX coffee runner recently promoted to Chief Knowledge Officer. "Every engineering achievement must begin with 'Before Tesla.' For example, 'Before Tesla, the Wright brothers achieved powered flight, which was basically just a primitive Cybertruck with wings.'"
Sources inside the warehouse report that interns work in shifts, hunched over recycled Twitter office furniture. Fact-checking can only be performed against Musk's tweets between 2am and 5am, "when he's most lucid," according to the project handbook. One intern noted that a recent entry took three weeks to verify because Musk was "too busy posting memes during the designated hours."
"Yesterday I had to redo an entire section because I missed the hourly loyalty oath to the Oxford comma," said one intern who requested anonymity. "We have to stand facing the giant portrait of Mr. Musk reading an encyclopedia and chant 'I pledge to never use ambiguous punctuation that could confuse future Mars colonists.'"
The project hit a minor setback when Musk discovered that Encyclopedia Britannica is already digitized and available online. He reportedly responded by ordering all computers removed from the facility, declaring that "true knowledge can only be trusted in analog form."
The completed encyclopedias will reportedly be distributed exclusively to X Premium+ subscribers who can prove they've never edited a Wikipedia article.
At press time, interns had successfully completed editing the letter 'A', though sources say progress stalled for three days at "Apollo Program" while waiting for Musk's approved version of events - which must be fact-checked during tomorrow morning's 3am tweet session.
