CI Games unveiled its latest project today: "Strategic Combat Operations," a military shooter meticulously engineered to contain absolutely no discernible message, context, or meaning whatsoever.
"Players will engage in completely context-free combat operations against forces that are definitely there for purely gameplay reasons," explained lead designer Marcus Webb during a press conference where the studio proudly displayed their new "agenda-detection software" - an intern with a red marker crossing out any narrative elements that might accidentally imply something.
The game takes place in "Geographic Region," a carefully crafted environment consisting entirely of buildings in various shades of passionate gray, after the color red was completely removed for implying too strong an emotional stance. The development team spent six months replacing all combat animations with their revolutionary "Neutral Walk Animation," ensuring no character accidentally leans left or right while moving.
"We've removed all environmental destruction," Webb continued, "as our analytics team discovered that breaking windows could be interpreted as commentary on real estate markets." He then demonstrated the game's groundbreaking soundtrack: procedurally generated white noise, after playtesters reported that minor chords were evoking unauthorized emotional responses.
The studio has also implemented a groundbreaking "Anti-Context Engine" that automatically generates mission objectives like "Move to Location" and "Secure Strategic Asset." Voice chat functionality was ultimately scrapped after internal testing revealed that human interaction might accidentally create meaning.
"The only politics here is the politics of fun," declared marketing director Ryan Hill, while carefully ensuring that no one in the room could detect which side of his mouth he was speaking from. "Our focus groups confirmed that this is exactly what gamers want - pure, unadulterated gameplay untainted by any suggestion that actions might have consequences."
The game launches next fall, or possibly winter, as seasons were deemed too politically charged during development.
