Ryan Hudson, co-founder of PayPal-acquired Honey and current Pie Adblock CEO, stunned the tech community yesterday by claiming his company's revolutionary ad-blocking algorithm came to him during a "spiritual experience" at a mandatory PayPal corporate meditation retreat.
"I was deep in contemplation when the angel Gabriel appeared and whispered 'Command-C, Command-V' in my ear," Hudson explained during an emergency investor call. "It was like the universe itself wanted users to earn micropayments for viewing curated advertisements."
The divine intervention reportedly occurred at "The Sacred Path to Series B Funding" retreat center, where Hudson's keyboard was ritually cleansed with burning sage while engineers chanted "sudo make install." The resulting code mysteriously included properly formatted JSDoc comments and documentation.
The company's new VP of Spiritual Computing, Janet Martinez - previously PayPal's head of copyright litigation - defended the company's "mindful sourcing" philosophy, which she defined as "copying code with gratitude and intention." Under her guidance, engineering standup meetings now begin with "namaste" and end with "git push --force."
GitHub sleuths discovered the supposedly divine intervention occurred precisely three minutes after someone using Hudson's login credentials downloaded uBlock Origin's entire repository. When pressed for clarification, Hudson announced his upcoming book "The Zen of Not Reinventing the Wheel: A Founder's Journey to Enlightened Code Reuse."
Hudson later added that his previous company Honey was actually channeled from ancient Sumerian merchants, who "totally understood affiliate marketing." The company's legal team, practicing what they call "defensive mindfulness," has preemptively filed spiritually-inspired cease and desist letters against anyone questioning their enlightened development practices.
As of press time, Hudson was reportedly attending another meditation retreat, where he hopes to receive divine inspiration for a unique privacy policy that bears no resemblance to MetaMask's terms of service.
