U.S. military officials expressed mounting frustration today as Anduril Industries' new IVAS combat AR headsets continue displaying unprompted "Would You Like To Know More?" messages during active operations, alongside an increasingly concerning array of social media and gaming features that CEO Palmer Luckey apparently couldn't resist implementing.
"I was trying to call in air support," reported Staff Sergeant James Miller, "but the system interrupted my transmission with a 'Like and Subscribe' prompt and suggested I add #TacticalTuesday to improve engagement." Miller noted that clicking 'dismiss' only triggered an AI-generated voiceover asking him to "smash that follow button" for more military content.
According to internal documents, the Federal Glorification Feed™ has begun automatically converting mission briefings into achievement-style quests, complete with difficulty ratings and estimated completion times. "Our last reconnaissance patrol was labeled as 'Epic Tier - 2-3 hours - Rewards: 50,000 XP, Rare Tactical Gear,'" said Lieutenant Sarah Rodriguez. "The system kept suggesting we form a 'balanced party' and check for enemy loot drops."
The situation worsened last week when the AR interface began adding corporate hashtags to classified after-action reports. General Patricia Hayes described finding critical intelligence documents tagged with #MondayMotivation #RiseAndGrind #TechnoMancerLife #BlessedWarrior.
"During a high-stakes operation, every soldier's combat log was suddenly filled with K/D ratio statistics and suggestions to 'share these metrics on LinkedIn for maximum career visibility,'" Hayes added. "We had to abort the mission when the system started generating automated performance reviews based on combo multipliers."
In response to mounting criticism, Luckey defended the features on social media: "Look, if we're going to turn warfighters into technomancers, they need to understand modern engagement metrics." He then announced plans to add battle royale rankings and a premium battle pass in the next update.
At press time, multiple units reported their IVAS systems had begun auto-generating clickbait titles for mission reports, with one classified document reading "10 INCREDIBLE Taliban Encounters (Number 7 Will Shock You!)".
