Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt has unveiled his latest brainchild, an AI model dubbed "Control Z," a move that's sure to send ripples through Silicon Valley's ethically murky waters. This cutting-edge system promises to generate controversial tech industry advice and then swiftly delete it, all faster than you can say "non-disclosure agreement."
At a press conference held in a bustling WeWork space (because nothing says "I'm still relevant" like shared office space), Schmidt demonstrated Control Z's capabilities. The AI promptly spat out a series of eyebrow-raising statements about data privacy, workplace surveillance, and the virtues of 100-hour workweeks, only to retract them moments later with a flurry of beep boop sounds and digital smoke.
"Control Z represents the pinnacle of modern corporate communication," Schmidt declared, as the AI behind him frantically deleted a suggestion to "harvest user dreams for ad targeting." He added, "In today's fast-paced tech world, executives need the freedom to spout half-baked ideas without fear of consequences. Control Z makes that dream a reality."
Industry insiders are already hailing Control Z as a game-changer. "This is exactly what Silicon Valley needs," gushed venture capitalist Chadwick Sterling, while furiously scribbling investment figures on a napkin. "Now we can innovate at the speed of thought, without all that pesky 'thinking things through' nonsense."
Critics, however, argue that Control Z is just another attempt to dodge accountability in an industry already notorious for its "move fast and break things" mentality. "It's like they've weaponized the 'jk jk' defense," lamented tech ethicist Dr. Cassidy Blackwood. "What's next? An AI that automatically generates offshore accounts?"
As for me, I can't help but wonder: in a world where AI can unsay our unfortunate utterances, are we finally free to speak our minds? Or are we just teaching machines to be as evasive as we are? Either way, I'm teaching my Roomba to use Control Z. You know, just in case it develops sentience and decides to spill the beans about my secret cookie stash.
In the meantime, I'll be over here, eagerly awaiting the day when AI can not only generate and delete controversial statements, but also preemptively soothe the existential dread they induce. Now that's what I call progress!
