Venture-backed startup Affecta raised $500 million in Series C funding this week for its revolutionary smart teddy bear that can only embrace children while connected to the company's cloud servers. The "Forever Hugs" bear, which retails for $299, uses advanced servo motors and machine learning to deliver what the company calls "emotionally intelligent physical interactions."
Parents report their children were devastated when the bear's arms suddenly went limp during a routine server migration. "My daughter thought her best friend had died," said Michelle Park, whose 5-year-old refused to attend kindergarten after her bear stopped responding. "Then the bear started explaining AWS architecture to her while maintaining direct eye contact."
Affecta CEO David Reeves defended the always-online requirement, noting that their board—which includes three former Tamagotchi executives who "really learned their lesson about letting digital pets die"—insisted on robust monetization strategies. The company's terms of service grant them rights to sell anonymized hug duration data to university psychology departments, while their "Emotional Continuity Insurance" costs $399 annually.
Parents have also noticed the bear's arms becoming increasingly stiff as subscription renewal dates approach. "It's like a mechanical guilt trip," said Tom Watson, whose son's bear now offers only "rigid side-pats" until payment processing clears.
The move follows the spectacular failure of competitor HugTech's "Pay-Per-Hug" model, which reportedly bankrupted several families during a particularly rough flu season. "We learned from their mistakes," said Reeves from his Woodside estate. "Our monthly $24.99 HugPass™ subscription includes unlimited basic embraces, though premium comfort features remain à la carte."
At press time, Affecta announced plans to expand their product line with a subscription-based invisible friend who disappears if parents miss a payment.
